I stopped going to the gym because of Vladimir Putin. Now I can't open crisp packets.


Generate another headline


This page is a work of satire, making fun of predictable (and sometimes ridiculous) Guardian headlines.
Headlines are automatically generated at random based on a number of manually-defined formats.
Designed and developed by Calum Childs, who has nothing to do with The Guardian.

And before you say I'm an austerity-loving Tory, I made a headline generator for the Daily Mail as well!


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